The Pain she Felt

She wanted to die. On many occasions she had contemplated committing suicide. She felt life was worthless. She felt humiliated. She felt used and unloved. Every time she walked, she felt the ‘entire world’ was talking about her. Whenever she passed by, women in the streets would break into giggles. She had become the talk of town. Those women who have nothing more to do other than gossiping would point fingers to her saying ‘she is the one’ (Ndiyeka uya uya). In such moments, what she all wanted was being alone. Locked in her room – crying until tears dry. Oftentimes, she would blame herself, why me, why Lord. These are part of the many questions that would torture her mind.

It was hardly two years after they had parted lives. During their happier times, Pepe and Ronny were a match made in heaven. They lived in their own love island were several emotions and passions lived. Theirs, was a tale of love with endless limits. As the Shona adage goes, everything will come to an end, surely the end of Pepe and Ronny came earlier than expected. But, it was not the ending that pained Pepe to the core and marrow of her heart. The way how it ended hurt her most.

It was on a Thursday morning, the clouds were drifting westwards. That day it seemed it would rain cats and dogs. However, there was a heavy whirlwind that seemed to have literally chased the rains away. Like any other women in love, Pepe, wished to hear his boyfriend wishing her happy birthday. Although, birthdays were not that much celebrated in this part of the world. Nonetheless, Pepe always made it a point to celebrate her birthday in style. She woke up in high spirits, humming her favorite gospel song ‘Mwari muri mubatsiri vangu’ (Oh Lord you are My Helper). However, events turned topsy-turvy. On a day that promised to be a memorable and enjoyable one, things turned otherwise. Why why Ronny, why could Ronny do such a thing to me, but why? The pain she felt, all the years together…..To be continued…..

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